Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Oh, Rats! (and skunks, men and calves)

Yesterday, I saw a giant rat, I mean, a rat as big as the ones in Taiwan, in my backyard. I was lucky in that while in Taiwan, I only saw rats out in the street, and mostly dead ones at that, squished and dead by passing scooterist, and the occasional live one running on the street, across the telephone wires, or in the nicest park in TianMu. Yet, there I was, out at dusk watering the flowers when I look over toward the garden and the compost area, and there was this huge vermin sitting there eating a late dinner. Call it deja vu, or just repulsion, but I was very disgusted and grossed out. Once, when we lived across the street, I saw a mouse out in the wood pile, and that freaked me out. However, that mouse doesn't even come close to describing the thing I saw eating the garbage yesterday. It was huge! Do you remember the ROUS'es of Princess Bride?? You know, the Rodents of Unusual Size? That would be an apt description.

As for skunks, tonight as I was walking to my car from work, I could smell skunk in the air. It's not uncommon; I work out in the brushland of Decker Lake and we have a huge dumpster filled with garbage that tends to attract unwanted species of rodent. Skunks are often spotted. Well, I got in my car and started driving out to the main road. As I turned out, there was the culprit, or should I say culprits, for there was not one, but two skunks sitting in the middle of the road. I had no other option but to stop and wait for them to notice me; there was not really room enough to go around them without getting too close for comfort. They finally noticed me and trotted off into the sage brush. I tell you, it was a close call.

And then there are men. I work with a lot of nice guys, all of them too old and none of them up to my standards. Yet, sometimes they make me laugh or blush because they are just so darn nice and funny. Tonight I was working and, due to the hot weather, I was wearing capris. I've worn them before and no one has ever said anything. Tonight one of my coworkers asked if I was into sports, if I was athletic. I told him no, because I'm not, and then he surprised me by saying that he thought I might be because I have really nice and big calves. He continued to say that when he meets a girls he doesn't look at the hair or the eyes, but at her calves. He likes them big and meaty. Well, if that doesn't make a girl blush!!! Yes, I have big calves, but only recently have I taken pride in them. Before my mission they were just big, flabby pieces of soft muscle. After my mission, they were rock hard and defined (riding a bike for 18 months will do that). Now, they are not so hard but still nice. Anyway, my friend continued speaking about my calves, and if I wasn't already blushing enough, he asked if he could feel it. What is a girl to say?! As if I wasn't already red and sweating!? I consented, he felt it, and he said it was nice. Trying to make light of the situation I said that they come in handy for wearing high heels. At that he whistled and said he bet I looked good in high heels. Well, thanks, I guess. That was the end of the calf conversation for the moment, but as we were leaving for the night he said, "I hope you wear your capris again tomorrow." AI YOU!!! Shoot! I had already told myself that that was the last time I wore capris to work. And men think women are hard to figure out!!!!!


Sue said...

Jill, your story made me laugh sooooo hard!! I am proud of your big strong legs! Really thanks for the great laugh!

Megan Di said...

You, my friend are a nut case. Strange woman!