Late Night Letters

Dear Mucus in the Back of my Throat,

You stink.  No really, you do.  Or, I assume you stink because you sure do taste bad.  I am sick of choking on you, swallowing you, gagging on you.  Stop secreting and just leave me alone, please. 

***

Dear Medicine Cabinet,

You make me happy. 

***

Dear Lumpy Tonsils,

You are a haggard lot.  All swollen, red, puffy, and disgusting-like.  You definitely have seen better days.  Remember those?  Yeah, me too.  They seem so long ago...  I miss those days.  Do you think we could go back to them?

***

Dear Flexible Spending Account,

I've never used you much; never really had the need.  Well, what with co-pays, prescription drugs, and over-the-counter medications, I feel that I have gotten to know you better recently.  And you know what?  I like you.  I like the fact that I am going to get reimbursed for my pain and anguish.  Just don't let me forget to turn in my receipts come September.

***

Dear Insomnia,

I'm tired and would really just like to sleep.  Is that too much to ask for?

***

Dear Insurance Card,

I feel empowered when I see you.  I feel so adult and grown up.  We should have a BBQ (or, more like and smoothie-Q, as that's about all I can eat these days) to celebrate my newfound sense of maturity.

***

Dear Infection,

Just go away.

Please?  I'm dying here.

Sincerely,

Jill