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Some days I just feel like banging my head on the keyboard. Today would be one of those days.

Untimely Transmission Ambsace (UTA)

**Note: “Ambsace” means bad luck.

Here in Utah, our public transportation system is known as UTA: Utah Transit Authority. I have been a UTA passenger for years. Often, as a small child, I would jump on the 70 and ride downtown to go shopping at the mall or to see my dad at work. Back then, bus fares were only 50 cents. Once I started attending college, I took the bus nearly every day, taking the 60 in the mornings, hopping on Trax to and from the University, and then hitting the 70 home. Now that I work downtown and UTA has updated their bussing system, I either take the 460 or the Frontrunner. Usually, all goes well and smoothly. Sometimes there are delays, and often crazy bus drivers, but I get home eventually. However, today marks a new day for me in my UTA ridership history. Today, for the first time in the many years of my patronizing UTA, my bus broke down. Somehow, the bus driver killed the engine and got the gears jammed. She couldn’t shift it into drive and we were stuck, in the middle of Beck Street, in morning commuter traffic. We weren’t pulled over or anything; we were just sitting there, in the right-hand lane, with our flashers on. There were cars whipping by us, swerving around us, honking at us, and totally ignorant of the fact that those on the bus had places to go, too. After four other buses passed us, the 455 finally stopped, arriving at the same time as the mechanic, and offered us transportation. Poor 460! I hope it lives to ride another day.

**Photo found at www.rideuta.com.

Extensions

My mom was bursting to tell me what she found out today: not only is authoress, Shannon Hale, an absolutely amazing writer, she is also my third cousin. Who knew? But then, I'm related to pretty much everybody. That's what happens when your family history includes multiple wives with lots and lots of kids. Still, it's pretty cool. She really is an awesome writer. If you've never read her stuff, you are missing out. The Goose Girl is my favorite. You'll like it, I promise.

Ode to a Hot Pastrami Sandwich

Oh, hot pastrami sandwich!
Your warm tenderness entreats me.
Your Russian dressing entices me.
Your added coleslaw entrances me.
Oh, how you have enchanted me.
Your peppercorn-encrusted red flesh
Encased in a white Kaiser roll
Enhanced by Swiss cheese is a sensory experience.
You taunt my nostrils, you taunt my eyes.
You taunt my stomach;
My mouth waters expectantly.

I have eaten. I have lived.

Confession

For some reason, I really like to watch America's Next Top Model. Don't ask me why. I really don't know. I just do.